A space to post my thoughts and musings about anything. This includes but is not limited to community, politics, current events, dating, GLBTQ issues, favorite things, and stuff that would make your dead relatives blush. I am not afraid to go there, as some can attest.

November 20, 2007

That's a Very Profound Thing to Say [theblackdog]

A few weeks ago I was on IM with a friend of mine and I had just mentioned that I had recently gotten a twin size bed and box spring set that Joshua's roommate was getting rid of. The guy joked that it was going to be awfully hard to have anyone over and sleeping next to me. My response was that "That's not something I need, the person I'm with is going to have to like me for more than the fact that there is a spot in my bed that they could fill." To which we get the post title.

That's the thing I have come to understand over the last three months. I was used to having someone next to me at night, but I haven't had that for a while, and I find I don't need it either. It's fun, but it's not everything. I knew this, but sometimes it takes being alone to remind you. There are some people that never seem to understand that. One guy I have talked to in the past has complained often about how he's lonely and he wants someone next to him to cuddle in bed. It is taking all of my willpower not to say "Dude, shut the fuck up because your whining about needing someone next to you is not attractive." Perhaps that is why he hasn't gone out with anyone in a while.

I want more in my next relationship than just someone to fall asleep next to. We need to share common interests, and he'd better be willing to go out on a Saturday night rather than sit at home week after week. I also want this person to be able to give and take, and be willing to try new things. They'd also better be independent and able to support themselves. Each and every one of these things is much more important to me for a relationship. Finding someone who wants to share a bed, that could easily be anyone, but to have someone who matches just what it is that I want, they're out there somewhere.