Give and Take

A few weeks ago I wrote about some frustrations I had felt in regards to the fact that I had my surgery and how it had turned my life upside-down in ways that I didn't really appreciate. Someone pointed out what sounds like a cliche but holds true in this situation. It was that true friends will step forward and help you out and share in the burdens that are going on with you. I certainly saw many examples of that over the past few weeks, and perhaps it was a sort of lesson that I needed to learn for myself.

It can be generally said that if something happens to someone I know or they call for help in some way, I will step up and do what I can to help them out. I don't expect anything in return, I just do it. However, I completely and utterly suck at the reverse. I have difficulties with asking for help or even taking help from the folks I know and care about. A little of it is my nature, I'm a fairly independent person and pretty used to doing things for myself. However, it's also a bit of learned behavior in that I fear crossing that line where I'm going from getting a little extra support to becoming a mooch or lazy. It was like I was saying a few weeks ago, I felt wrong that someone was cleaning up my apartment and doing my laundry because my immediate reaction is they shouldn't have had to do it because it wasn't their mess to clean up, it was mine, and I should be responsible for it. However, considering that I was still using a chair to pull myself up off the couch because it was too painful to shift all of my weight into using my legs (as anyone would do), there was no way in hell I could have handled carrying clothing. What I needed to learn was that the people involved understood this and that was why they were willing to step forward and take care of things. Normally I'm the one who is thinking that I get what another person is going through and it's why I help them out, well I needed to learn that there are other folks I know who think the same way.

The other thing I got out of this was learning just who my friends were and where the quality relationships are in my life. It isn't just with those folks who visited at the hospital, gave rides, or stopped by; it was also those who expressed their concerns when they heard what had happened. I guess you do learn just who cares about you when you end up with something more involved than your standard sniffles.

Ultimately what comes out of this is the life lesson that it is perfectly okay to ask for and receive assistance from those you love and care about, especially when you're in a situation where some of your capacities are limited. Am I going to be perfect in recognizing when it's completely okay? Probably not. I will still have to overcome my natural instinct to be Mr. Independent, but at least I have a better sense of understanding that other folks I know will step forward if they feel it is right to do so, and if they didn't, I wouldn't hear from them.

Since we were on the subject about my surgery, I was asked the other day if I was scared of going under the knife. The answer is No. It's not because I am under the delusion that I am invincible or anything like that. However, I was in some pretty hardcore pain and puking my guts out every hour thanks to my reaction to morphine so I really wasn't in a state to sit and let my mind run through the possibilities of how this surgery could go and get worked up that it could go wrong. Besides that, I have no real fear of hospitals in general, and you can thank (or blame) my parents for that one ;-)

Back to Normal

Went and saw the doctor today for a follow-up.  That had to have been one of the shortest visits I have ever had, simply because I'm basically fine.  My scar has healed up very well, and I am up and moving about and look great.  Not much else had to be done except to look at the scar and advise me to keep it out of the sun as much as possible.  Apparently it could end up looking really ugly if I don't.  Now I normally like being out in the sun anyway, so I'll have to make sure to cover it in sunscreen.

Have I mentioned that medical bills suck?  That's a whole other story though.

Besides that, now it means no more restrictions, and it's about freaking time.  I was starting to feel a bit like a blob because there is some exercise I have not been able to do for the last few weeks, such as my shovelgloving, or even some of the strength exercises on Wii Fit.  Now that I can do them again, I will be working out with a vengeance.  I already did so tonight.

Now I can ride roller coasters as well, which is good because I have been making plans to make a few park visits.  As it is, I am up to 96 coasters ridden in the world.  I will be crossing the 100 coasters mark in the next few weeks when I make my very first visit to Carowinds down in Charlotte, NC.  I can't wait to go because it looks like there are some good coasters there, and it's another Cedar Fair owned park.  I also scored an awesome deal on a hotel that is a mile from the park.  Perhaps there is someone who is interested in joining me?

So glad to pick up where I left off, in a sense.

Tragedy On the Rails

My heart goes out to all of those who are affected by the tragic collision that occurred today on Metro.  I hope and pray that those who were injured have a speedy recovery, and the families of those who were killed are able to find comfort.

I also hope the folks at Metro and the NTSB can figure out just what the hell happened, that it wasn't because of major stupidity on the part of a conductor, and that steps can be taken to prevent this from happening again.

Seriously, I am just floored that this collision even occurred in the first place.  For me, Metro has generally been safe and I put a lot of faith and trust in their staff that when I commute back and forth to work that I will get there safely and in a good amount of time.  I don't want something like this to become a common enough occurrence that I have to be continually on guard for the safety of myself and those whom I know. 

Edited To Add: I decided to pull up Metro's stats on ridership, they have a lot of folks who come through the system every day so they seem to generally be safe.  You're probably more likely to get hurt while driving or walking to the station than you are on a metro train.

Pride Activities

This weekend was DC pride, and it was a rather busy weekend, but totally worth it.

Saturday morning I dropped by CT and RE's house to pick up the postcards that we were going to use for the booth on Sunday, and also helped them get some things set up for the parade later that afternoon. The beads were strung up and loaded into the truck and such, and we were good to go.

I rode to Dupont Circle on Metro to meet up with other folks at St. Thomas. Of all the weekends that Metro could have chosen to do track work at Dupont Circle, they picked the worst possible one with the pride parade on Saturday. I am sure I was not the only one who got stuck having to get off at Farragut North and then waiting for another train to get to Dupont Circle. Not smart on the part of Metro.

The picnic was fun, got to meet a number of new people along with hang out with a few folks from church while having some yummy food. Later in the afternoon we walked over to the parade area to get the truck set up and wait to get ready to go. Bishop Chane was there since he was riding in the parade with us (isn't it awesome to have supportive folks at the higher levels?).

Eventually the parade kicked off, and there was a great crowd of folks there all along the route to cheer us on. We were waving flags, carrying banners, and of course, throwing free swag. The popular item...bouncy balls. It is a bit of a pleasure to bounce them towards the crowd and watch folks scramble for them. I also handed out a number of postcards advertising St. Georges. Perhaps some folks will see them and decide to drop in for a service.

We all got to the end of the parade, and a few of us dropped into Thai Tanic for a drink (Chang (sp?) Beer is awesome BTW) and the big discussion was how much we enjoy being in the parade because of seeing all the people who do come out and watch and cheer us on. You tend to forget just how far the distance is or that you've walked a long way holding a banner to the point where you should be hurting, but for some reason, it just isn't there as you see everyone yell and scream as you go by, especially when you also see familiar faces. I think it's why most of us keep on doing the parade year after year, even if we don't participate in other pride activities.

After Thai Tanic, I decided to head home. I was tempted to head to another bar where I knew there was an event going on, but by that point I was tired and sore, so it would have just not been my thing that night. I might have also considered taking a nap and doing Blowoff later, but doctors orders have said no dancing yet. Oh well.

Sunday morning my plan was to go to 8 AM service and then head down to Pride, but it didn't work out that way. My front door of my apartment jammed, and so basically it was the landlord and I working first to get the door open, and then get the doorknob replaced because it turned out the latch had frozen so the doorknob was not pulling it back anymore. At least I was able to get out eventually the morning.

Went over to the festival, got the booth set up with a few other churches, and started working and chatting up folks as the festival got underway. Eventually RS and GS stopped by to bring water, and I brought GS over to the booth while RS parked the car (GS had broken her foot so she was using a wheelchair to get around) and I talked with one of my friends from college. It's kind of funny how our lives have mirrored one another. She came out, I came out, I converted to being Episcopalian from UU, and she did the same about a year after I did. So she's like my female doppelganger.

After being at the booth for an hour and a half, it was time to wander the festival. JS had arrived with Aiko so I was hanging with him before TB and his friend JX arrived. We all wandered the festival for a while before JS took off and TB and I explored the booths and chatted with folks we knew who were there. Later on we got lunch with CT and RE, but not before making a bit of a scene with one of the folks at my booth because I was walking around shirtless by then. It was pretty funny for various reasons.

After lunch it was getting close to 4 PM and I was beat and TB had to head back, so I decided to head home anyway and put my feet up. It was when I got back to Greenbelt that I realized my phone was missing, but at least I got it back later, as I explained in my last entry. I decided to break out the foot spa and soak my feet because between walking 2 miles of the parade and then several laps of the festival, I think they were ready to secede from the rest of my body.

So another year of Pride down, my fifth one actually. I definitely had a good time and I am thankful for all of those who came out to walk or ride in the parade, and who came to cheer us on at the parade as well. I was also glad to see folks at the festival that I knew and could chat with. Plus I'm grateful someone who knew me found my phone :-D

If I had Any Doubt Before...

...I was shown today that there is a God who is looking out for me.

For the very first time in seven years, I lost my cell phone.  In this case, it had fallen out of my pocket at Archives/Navy Memorial/Penn Quarter Metro Station. I had gotten to Greenbelt and I was getting up when I realized that I did not have my cell phone, period.  I frantically searched my pockets and my bag, but it was gone, and while I suspected it was at Archives, I was now 11 stops away and it was likely picked up.  

During that search, I discovered on another seat of the train that someone had left their cell phone.  I picked it up and turned it in to a Metro worker so that hopefully whoever lost it would find it again.

In the meantime, I went home and put up a tweet and a Facebook status that said my cell phone was lost and not to text or call it unless someone thought they could recover it.  A friend of mine on Facebook, Shane, said he had found it, but I called bullshit because I thought he was just messing with me.  I went to the Verizon store so I could get the old phone deactivated, and also get the ESN because Metro's lost and found would not necessarily be able to match up my phone unless they had it.  Besides that, I needed a phone, simply because I am one of the many households these days that only have a cell phone, no landline.  So, I forked over the $150 it was going to cost me since I am nowhere near eligible for an upgrade and headed home.

When I got home, I had a message on Facebook from Shane, giving a description of my phone and where he had found it, and everything matched.  It turned out he had found the phone on the bench at the station and decided to open up the phone and see if he could figure out who it belonged to, and he recognized some mutual contacts, and then found a picture of me in the phone.  He called one of my contacts to let them know he had found my phone, and he was about to call another but then it had locked out thanks to me going to the store to get it deactivated.  I was floored that he was the one who found it and that he also works up near my apartment.  So arrangements have been made for me to pick up my phone tomorrow, and I will return the one I just bought.

I really truly believe Shane was meant to find my phone to get it back to me, but only because I had done the right thing in finding that other person's phone on the train and turning it in to Metro.  If I had not done that, I doubt I would have seen my phone again.  Call me crazy, but I am willing to take a leap of faith on this one.  The odds were very low that not only someone would find my phone and get it back to me (lots of people due to the ride festival), but that it was someone who knows me, and works near my neighborhood.  So because I did the right thing, I got back something very good in the process.

So major thanks have to go to Shane for finding my phone.  I can get it back and I should be able to get Verizon to switch my phone back to my current one.  I'm also hoping I can get them to waive the re-stocking fee that they will charge me for returning the new phone because I have not removed any of the protective covers or taken anything out of their bags in the box.  If not, well, $35 is much better than $150.

Bishop Chane's Statement on the Holocaust Museum Shooting

Bishop John Bryson Chane of the Episcopal Diocese of Washington released the following statement on the fatal shooting yesterday at the U. S. Holocaust Memorial Museum:

The tragic shooting yesterday at the Holocaust Museum in downtown Washington should remind us that murderous prejudice, racism and anti-Semitism simmers beneath the surface in this country and abroad, inspiring embittered individuals to violent acts.

The Christian Church bears a special responsibility for the scourge of anti-Semitism. And while it is true that James von Brunn, the alleged murderer who opened fire in the museum is not sympathetic to our faith, Christians must nonetheless acknowledge the shameful role our Church has played in developing this hateful ideology down through the centuries, and work always for mutual understanding, for reconciliation and for peace.

Stephen Tyrone Johns, the steadfast security guard who died at the museum, laid down his life to protect visitors to that sacred space. I ask that all of our churches commemorate his heroic self-sacrifice by including a special prayer for Mr. Johns, his family and friends in their Eucharistic celebrations this Sunday.

I extend my deepest sympathies to the Jewish community here in the nation’s capitol and beyond. They have witnessed an act of murderous anti-Semitic violence in a place dedicated to ending such violence and honoring its millions of victims. I can only imagine the pain this incident will cause Holocaust survivors, their descendants and their friends, and the fear, anxiety and profound frustration it must provoke in members of the Jewish faith who must live with the knowledge that ancient hatreds survive in our modern world.

Let each of us through prayer, acts of kindness and demonstrations of solidarity do what is in our power to help heal the wounds opened by this murderous act.

A BF Free Summer

This June marks my fourth year (and fifth summer) since moving to the DC area, and I am declaring that for me this summer will be a BF Free summer.

To recap a bit of history, 2005 and 2006 were with MS, 2007 with JS, and 2008 with JH.  So every summer I have been in a relationship with someone, and I have come to figure that after spending enough time being with others, for once I should enjoy a summer in DC where I am on my own.

What's driving this line of thought is that right now I really don't have a desire to be  in a relationship.  I've been enjoying the past few months since stepping back down to casual dating with TB.  I'm enjoying going out with folks just to go out with them.  I finally get it for once about what friends and family have been saying to me about going out and dating a number of folks to find out just what it is I like and don't like. 

So, it's time to do my thing and have fun with it.  I can look at getting serious with someone else later.

What's The Point Then?

A few weeks ago a health fair was held at my place of work and I did go down there to check it out.  One of the offerings was to get on the bone marrow registry to be a donor if someone needs it.  Now this is something that I would get behind, so I started reading the paperwork.  It was when I got down to the eligibility requirements that I got a nice slap in the face by the cold wet rag of old-school overprotective thinking.

I was cheerfully informed by the paper that because I am a male who has had sex with another male, they don't want my bone marrow, period.

I hate that implication, I really truly do.  What it makes me feel like is that they have decided to assume that because I am attracted to other men and have been in relationships with them, it must mean that I am a walking disease factory, or worse, that I must have HIV/AIDS.  Never mind that I don't engage in high risk activities, nope, I must be this dirty person who is going to just go and infect other people.

What kills me about it is that folks like me are the ones actively being discriminated against.  Perhaps the medical folks have forgotten, but straight people are just as capable of catching deadly diseases from their relations as well.  It's not right that I'm not allowed to donate blood or bone marrow despite taking every precaution, but that these organizations will gladly take the same products from a straight person even though that person could be promiscuous, or even have caught something from a partner who lied to them because they didn't take proper precautions.  Seriously, what the french toast is this?

So what does that leave me?  I can't donate blood, I can't donate bone marrow, and hell, I wouldn't be surprised if I wasn't allowed to donate my organs either if I was killed in a car wreck.  Unless of course I just lie to the screeners, but I just can't do that, it's a personal violation of my own ethics.  Just remember that folks, I'm not allowed right now to save someone elses life because according to the current rules, I'm going to end up killing them with something else.

Too bad, but I think when my drivers license comes up for renewal I'll just have to remove my permission to be an organ donor, they don't seem to want me.

Follow-Up

Went and saw the surgeon today for my follow-up, and everything looks good.  I'm healing up nicely so he removed the dressing and staples, and put in their place some paper strips and some new bandage tape so that the small staple wounds can heal.  I just need to keep it on for about 5 days and then I am good to go.  I have an appointment to see the doctor again in 3 weeks, and I'm sure it will be a good report as well.

So, apparently I was a "difficult" case, though from what I can tell, I couldn't have been as bad as some.  However, I had to be cut open more than a small laproscopic incision because my appendix was "retroflexed" and three times as long as a normal one.  Basically, not only was my appendix bigger, but it pointed upward instead of downward.  Oh well, they got it out anyway before it could burst, though I still have my suspicions that the reason it got so "hot" was because of how freaking long it took to actually get me in the operating room.

By the way, no...more...morphine...ever!  I was given that in the hospital and it made me puke my guts out, to the point where I was dry heaving most of the afternoon.  Josephine reminded me that the doc had commented that he was going to get my painkillers changed because he did witness once or twice that I was pretty sick while waiting there.

Anyway, so now I can return to normal, for the most part.  I still can't do anything too strenuous, no jogging or dancing, basically anything that would impact the belly too much right now.  I still can't lift heavy things, which kind of sucks, but I can deal with that.  Unfortunately, no roller coasters allowed...yet.  As long as I can do it later this summer, I don't care.

Josephine commented on how good it was to see that I was able to get up, and hell, I'm glad I am able to stand up again without having to grab a chair so I can pull myself up.  I should see if this made my arms any stronger.  I did find the other day according to my Wii Fit that I lost 4.5 pounds since I last measured myself the night before this all started.  Hopefully I can do enough exercise to maintain.

Six Flags vs Cedar Fair

Over the Memorial Day weekend, I took a trip down to Kings Dominion.  For those who are not aware, KD was owned by Paramount, but 3 years ago, Cedar Fair (CF), the parent company of the famous Cedar Point park bought KD and a number of other properties.  The next closest Cedar Fair owned park around here is Dorney Park up in Allentown, PA.

For the last two summers, I have been in touch with my love of roller coasters.  The first summer, I had a pass to Six Flags (SF) here in MD, and last summer, I had a season pass to both the Six Flags and Kings Dominion Parks, and I have to say that I am beginning to see a large difference in how each of the parks operate.  It has started to give me a preference as to which type of park I would rather go to.  Simply put, I get what I pay for.

I pay more for my pass to KD than SFA ($150 vs $95) with what looks like the same benefits on paper.  I get unlimited admission to my home park, and several other parks owned by the same company, free parking, and various discounts.  Of course, if I was at a different SF, I would actually pay more for my pass because I have seen that other SF locations charge more for their season passes.  That's not entirely the point.

I find that I get a much higher quality of a visit from visiting a Cedar Fair owned park than a Six Flags owned park.  Both of them do have plenty of roller coasters and other thrill rides and such, along with your usual restaurants and shops, so that part is pretty much the same.  However, it's a wildly different experience as to how I am treated as a patron at times.

First and foremost, there is a huge difference in attitudes among the workers at the parks.  At SF, most of the folks look like they're bored, they don't want to be there, and their work reflects it.  Hell, I felt at KD that they wanted me to be there, which is not a feeling I have gotten at any SF park.  I experienced more breakdowns of coasters at SF parks last year; not that there wasn't the occasional mishap at a CF owned park, but it seems that they moved really fast to get things going again and to keep the folks happy.  

One other thing I noticed was more often than not, it would be at an SF owned park that the coaster would run one car at a time when they have the capacity to run 2-3 cars, and the line is approaching an hour.  Very annoying.  At KD I rode Dominator, which is a very popular ride, but the most I waited was about an hour, and that was with the line being all the way back to the entrance, yet because it seems their workers understand that it's important to keep things moving, I had no issue with standing in line.  In fact, at Cedar Point, I don't remember waiting an obscene amount of time to ride their coaster, they kept the line moving. 

Also, while SF has the cheaper season pass, they make up for it by nickel and diming you with fees.  They have taken away the bins next to the rides for people to leave their stuff.  Now you have to pay for a "ride locker" before you can even get in line for a ride.  It's typically $1 for 2 hours, and it's a one-time use locker; once you open it again, it's done.  It makes bringing a backpack very inconvenient, they likely do it so that you don't carry around water bottles and such and instead buy food at the park.  Personally, I'd rather keep my Camelbak with me so I can just drink water as I stand in line and drop it in the bin when I actually ride.  One way I have been able to get around it on occasion is to rent a locker for a flat fee at an SF attached water park since those you can typically get in and out all day.  Any CF owned park I have been to does not have a ride locker, they still have their bins next to the ride itself that you drop your stuff in, and I hope they will keep it that way.  At least I can be happy to report that KD has them this year.

Hell, now that I think about it, CF owned parks don't have to utilize a "fast pass" type of system because they tend to keep their lines moving.  A few times I actually paid extra money at an SF park to be allowed the privilege to line jump using their "flash pass" system, and that was because the lines would get way too long for their own good.  Then again, if their workers actually cared about their job, they might actually move people through the line efficiently.  Of course, if that were to happen, fewer people would buy flash passes, the park wouldn't make as much money off of fees for extras like that, and those workers would probably get fired.

So ultimately, even though I pay a bit more money up front for a season pass to a CF owned park, the quality of my visits make it worth every penny of the extra fee.  Considering how many extra "fees" I would have to pay at an SF park, I probably end up paying for that pass in the end.  This is why I find if I have a choice, I'd rather go to a CF owned park.  It's only the proximity and slightly lower cost of the SF season pass that keeps me buying, but if they ever raise their rates, I wouldn't be as upset to drop buying a pass from them.  

Perhaps I am not the only one that thinks this way about the parks, and perhaps that is why Six Flags is in trouble financially while Cedar Fair is doing just fine for the most part. 

*Raises Eyebrow*

Dear Mr Cheney, 

If gay marriage was always a state issue, then why did you support your party's efforts to make it a federal issue via a US Constitution amendment?

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090601/ap_on_re_us/us_cheney

New Pictures

Since I'm still stuck at home, it gave me a chance to go through my pictures and get them uploaded to my flickr site. You can start here to view all of the latest acquisitions, or click on any of the pics below for what you're interested in:

Capitals Games




Exploring DC


Baltimore Ravens Spring Football Fest


Baseball Games