A space to post my thoughts and musings about anything. This includes but is not limited to community, politics, current events, dating, GLBTQ issues, favorite things, and stuff that would make your dead relatives blush. I am not afraid to go there, as some can attest.

October 18, 2008

Disconnection Day 1

Every year around this time it is fast becoming a tradition that I go for a long weekend somewhere, and I head out on my own, go to a place where I am unknown, and don't bother with back home that weekend. No e-mail, no phone, no text, just me out there doing whatever I want, whenever I want.

Typically I would head to the beach, this year I changed it up and have headed out camping instead. I went to a GLBT campground up near Lehighton, PA called The Woods. I had heard about it from a few friends who liked it, so I figured why the hell not. I made the reservation, signed up with their E-mail listserv, and prepared to go.  Along the way there was a guy who E-mailed me and while I asked for general information, he decided to ask when we were going to meet and proceeded to give me his personal stats, including how big his dick was. I called him on it and he told me that he wasn't a slut and not to E-mail him anymore. Nice try, if you're going to tell me the size of your dick when I didn't even ask for it, I know what's on your mind, and no, you can't have it.

Anyway, I took off this morning after a stop at the grocery store for groceries, and the beer and wine place for a case of Yuengling. It was a 3 hour trip to get there, luckily it was all highway. I got in, got my tent set up (after some work to figure out how to set the rain flap), and started to meet some of the other campers. Generally the campers have been friendly, I've been hanging out with A and M, who are staying across from me. J has been coming by as well to hang out with us, and then there is B who annoys the hell out of me, but more on that later.

Tonight it has been being around the campfire chatting, and later going over to a bonfire near the clubhouse. Tomorrow is when the activities really get going. There is a hike, massages being offered, a potluck dinner (I am making sausage soup), a dance, and slideshows. Since it is later in the year, it is a bit chilly, but I am fine because I have a warm sleeping bag (Thanks Brian!) and warm clothes. I have extra blankets if I need them. However, I am used to cooler weather so this isn't bothering me as badly.

As for the encounters with folks so far, B is one of those campers who comes here on a fairly regular basis, and has been for the past few years. Unfortunately, he comes off as a bit of a know-it-all and hasn't learned when to shut the fuck up. It is so bad that when he gets going, none of us can get a word in edgewise. Already once tonight we have had to come up with an excuse and run away because the man can't stop talking! Of course, he's also made offers for me to go cuddle with him, I turned him down flat because that's not what I am looking to get out of my weekend here. Now he is being like the big brother and thinking I need to be protected if someone is bothering me.  No, sorry, I can take care of that myself thank you very much.

J decided tonight was his mission for me to find a Mr. Right Now. That certainly didn't happen, not because I couldn't have found someone to nail, I didn't want to find someone to nail. That's not my reason(s) for coming out here, if I wanted to spend my time going out and working to get laid, I could have saved myself the 3 hours and just gone to a bar in DC or Baltimore. No, my reason for being here is to just relax, do my own thing, and enjoy being here. That doesn't mean I have to go nail some guy in the woods in order to have an enjoyable weekend.  

What it does remind me though is of one of the traps I have fallen into in the past. One of my complaints about being single is that suddenly people think I need to be with someone, even if it's just for a night.   You know what, no I don't. If I want to be with someone, it's because I choose to be with them, not because in your mind you think I should be with someone, or I should be with you. Then there is also all the work that does go into dating, such as going out there, trying to meet people, which can either be hit or miss, then you meet someone and you go out and see if it works out, and it does or it doesn't. Maybe you find that this person is just looking for some ass, which is not what you're aiming for, and it just gets annoying after a while. I think because of things like this I tend to get into more serious relationships because it takes that bit of pressure off. No more, the time has come to make sure more work is put in to learn more about myself and what I want, and then to search for the person that fits just what it is I want. Trust me when I say that I am becoming pickier and pickier.

For me, it's about doing what I feel like, when I feel like doing it.  I do not fear being by myself, doing my own thing, or being alone. Do I have those moments where I wouldn't mind having someone laying next to me in bed? Sure, but right now, its not really what I am going for 
in my life. It's time to enjoy who I am and celebrate my independence.