Please

Tomorrow its election day. If you're eligible to go vote, do it. No excuses.

For those of us in Maryland, I'm making one last personal appeal on this, please vote YES on Question 6. All it does is allow for civil marriages to take place in MD for same-sex couples. The religious ceremonies are left alone; no church has to perform a marriage ceremony for a same-sex couple if they do not want to. Clergy already have that power for other couples so nothing would change for them, except maybe a rush of wedding ceremonies after the law takes effect.

Really though, I would like the same civil rights and privileges that my parents enjoy as a married couple. They married 31 years ago here in Maryland, and I know they would love to see me be able to do the same here. I've been with my love, CW for two years now, and if we decide we want to take that next step and make our commitment to one another a lifetime commitment, we should be allowed to do so without special paperwork or legal wrangling that my parents would not have ever had to do.

It's not just me though. There are so many same-sex couples that have been together for years, decades even. They are raising beautiful families and they and their kids deserve the same rights and protections under the law. They are my neighbors, my friends, my fellow congregants, and my colleagues, and they are your friends,neighbors, congregants, and colleagues as well.

I've been with fighting for this right for 7 years, others much longer. We don't want to have to fight, we just want to live our lives with dignity and respect. So please, please, please when you're at the polls tomorrow, think of me, think of my love,and think of the other same-sex couples you know and vote YES on Question 6 in Maryland.

On Privacy, Pain, and Trust, Part 2 of 2: Reflections

After writing out my own experiences last night (and still feeling a bit sick at having to recall those memories) I continued with the thoughts and reflections I had been having over the past few days in regards to Tyler's situation.  I could remember the pure fear and panic I had going through my own head and I could easily imagine that similar thoughts and emotions were going through his.  However, there was always one point I would reach where I would stop and have to say "Wait, this is the part I don't understand."  Despite the fact that I was on an extreme emotional edge, I didn't quite snap and feel like I was falling and about to hit rock bottom and be done for.  Why didn't I snap, but Tyler did?

On Privacy, Pain, and Trust, Part 1 of 2: My Story

I've been reading a lot lately on the recent suicide of Rutgers University student Tyler Clementi and the rather horrible circumstances that brought him to that tipping point.  It reminds me a lot of a similar experience that I had while in college of being outed by folks I thought I could trust and the pain and suffering I experienced.  I understand and empathize with what Tyler must have felt when he found out just what had happened to him.  Here is my story:

Busy Busy Busy

Ahhhh my poor neglected blog, it is starving for some content.  That's what I get for not making the time to write.  I've been hearing a lot about that lately from a writing related podcast I have been listening to.  I will make the time for it soon enough.  Now that summer is winding down, that means less time being spent outside on activities.

Of course, another good distraction as of late has been the return of CW to DC.  If you haven't heard it already, it's official now in that we are together as a couple.  He's already started to meet my friends and they seem to like him, plus I've started to meet some of his friends as well, and they seem to like me, so it's a good sign of things to come.

Pride 2010

For the fourth year in a row, I walked with St. Georges in the DC pride parade, and it was my third year of heading up all the coordination that gets done to get us together.  For me though, I decided to add a small twist to the parade.

Pride in the Park

At a meeting this evening, I got word that Six Flags America is doing Pride in the Park again.  Three years ago I attended one of these, and it was not a great experience, as my letters to Six Flags and to Metro Weekly explain.  However, this year I'm willing to try and give it another shot, because maybe, just maybe, if people would actually show up, invade the park, and show off their pride, it can be turned into a fun day, instead of an "oh hi, some people who got discounts showed up, that's nice." type of day.

Lobby Day

As I continue to try and catch up on the lack of writing the past few weeks...

Two weeks ago I attended the Equality Maryland Lobby Day, which I was originally planning to attend when Snowlyshit part 1 occurred.  For the fifth year in a row I would be talking to my state legislators about supporting same-sex civil marriage rights and also about extending rights and protections to those who are transgendered.  Luckily for the most part I have a supportive delegates and senator, but it took a few chats with them to get this way.

So I organized St. Georges involvement with lobby day and with the help of TD as well, including doing an education forum the day before to go over what bills were coming up in the current legislative session and which legislators had been supportive and which ones needed work.  Monday afternoon, I would organize any carpooling and we'd head down to Annapolis.  I picked up my "grandma" and we drove through the rain to get there and park.

After sitting in the meeting area for a while, a few more folks from my district joined us and so we started talking about what was coming up while we waited for our coordinator from Equality Maryland to arrive.  Eventually it started getting late and he hadn't arrived, so somehow I ended up with the information folder that our coordinator was going to carry.  We did get in touch with him and he arrived soon after we had gotten into the delegate building and found our way up to the offices.

We met with Justin Ross in the hallway, and our discussion focused mainly on how to get the bills out of committee because they always tend to stall there.  There was also plenty of thank yous going around because Ross has come around in the last few years in regards to same-sex marriage.  He had been all for equal rights, but couldn't quite get on board with calling it marriage, at least until he heard more from folks about the issues they were facing that married couples did not face. Also brought up was the expectation that the state Attorney General, Doug Gansler, was going to rule that state law would allow recognition of same-sex marriages performed in other states, but that the ruling was probably going to be delayed until towards the end of the session.

Anne Healey was our next meeting and within the last two years she has gone from neutral to being supportive, so again it was more of a thank you and a reminder as to what was coming up.  We did not get a chance to see Tawanna Gaines as she was in a meeting.

Our last meeting was with Paul Pinsky, who has pretty much been a full ally since I started bugging him about this five years ago.  He and Ross both think that most legislators would support these bills, if they would get out of committee.  What it will take is defeating those who sit on the judical proceedings committees in both houses that are non-supporters.  Unfortunately they don't live in my district, but maybe I'll just have to pay atttention and see if anyone challenges their seats in the legislature.

After all the meetings, it was definitely time to go home, another good year of speaking with folks, but hopefully I won't have to do it for much longer.

NEM - Why I Didn't Go

Short Answer: I had a schedule conflict that meant I would have had to race down to the National Mall, then race back in time to make my other obligation.

Long Answer: The bishop was visiting my parish, and I would have gotten out of there around noon, metro would have taken until 1 and then I would have had to leave by 2:30 or 3 to get back to Greenbelt in time for my obligation. Also, I didn't have a huge interest in the march. Call me a cynic, but I felt that many people were using it as an excuse to come to DC and party, show up at the mall, shout for a while, then go home and pat themselves on the back thinking they did something good. Meanwhile, they will continue to do nothing to engage their own politicians about why equal rights are important.

Before anyone gets on me about this, understand that I do regularly speak out about equal rights to family, friends, and politicians alike, so this is not armchair activism by any means. Anyone who locally knows me also knows that for the past four years I do attend the lobby day that is arranged by Equality Maryland, and the local politicos do know about me from that. Could I do more? Of course, but I don't feel that standing at the National Mall is the way to do it.

In the meantime, I hope I can be proven wrong about the number of people taking action, but we'll see. I would hope that people would take the time to write to their Congress and their state politicians to let them know about getting equal rights. It is still my theory that the more states that allow full and equal rights for GLBT people, the more pressure it puts on the Federal Government to drop policies like the Defense of Marriage Act and Don't Ask Don't Tell. This would especially be true if Maryland would become more about equality as well, since lots of feds do live in Maryland...

OutQ NEM Meetup

So as a part of the National Equality March this past weekend, there was a planned meetup of those who listen to SiriusXM OutQ. Several show hosts and producers were planning to be down at the Helix Hotel in DC and would make an appearance at the hotel bar. Frank Decaro, Doria Biddle, Mr. Greg, and Michelangelo Signorile were the line-up, and while I had met Mr. Greg previously, the other folks were people that I had wanted to meet for various reasons.

If you're a regular listener to OutQ, then you know of the (in)famous CR from PA. We have met up several times, and this time was no exception. When he arrived in town he gave me a call and I met him and his friend Eric down at the local Silver Diner for a late lunch. Afterwards it was off to the Metro to get down to DC. If you're a local, you already know that Metro was all screwy this weekend due to track work. Luckily our destination was on the Red Line, and it became to our advantage to transfer at Ft. Totten in order to get down to Dupont Circle.

We arrived at Dupont Circle and the first order of business was to hit the local liquor store because we figured we'd butter up one of the hosts with booze (Yes we're that bad). CR knew that Doria loves Chopin Vodka so he picked that up, and I picked up Vampyre Vodka as something different for her to try. After the booze run, it was a walk to the hotel. I saw along the way just what 15th and P has turned into, though it really can't get much more gentrified. There were also protesters outside of a new house that the Scientologists were opening up. I would have taken pictures of them, but I think it would have freaked them out. They were wearing masks as it was to avoid issues the the Scientologists.

The three of us got to the hotel and found our way to the lounge, and it was early enough that we were able to get a table together. Drinks were ordered, there was chatter, and plenty of clock watching as well. The lounge would then get very crowded with other listeners who were also showing up. Eventually I got up and noticed that arriving in the lobby were Frank and Doria.  I pointed that out to CR and we both headed to the lobby.  I said hi to Doria and she immediately recognized me as "Mangi in Maryland."  It probably helped that I was wearing my Haloti Ngata jersey as well.  I then met Frank as well, and I got to watch CR's reaction as he met Doria.  It was all classic.

A few minutes later Michelangelo Signorile arrived as well and of course was immediately mobbed just like Frank and Doria.  I eventually got back to my bag and returned with my copy of Queer in America for Signorile to sign.  Of course he was more than happy to sign it for me.

About 20 mins later, I saw a woman I would immediately recognize the minute I heard her say "darling."  It was the very well known Tori in DC, someone that I have heard call in to Frank, Michelangelo, and Derek and Romaine for many years.  A few years ago I missed seeing her at pride, so I didn't want to let this opportunity slip away.  I must say that she is very charming and fun to be around, we enjoyed chatting with one another.  Later I saw her husband, and clearly she has good taste in men ;-) 

Most of the night would be spent talking with other listeners, getting pictures, and of course, hearing what the hosts had to say.  I was there for about four hours with folks before finally leaving since we were getting hungry (none of us had dinner).

BTW, if what Doria tells me about men is true, I might have to consider a move to L.A.  Below are pictures from the meetup, click on Frank and Michelangelo to see them all.

Theory: The Bar as a Comfort Zone

There is one activity that I have come to realize is very common when it comes to the gay men around here, and it is to meet at the bar. Every week the usual invite is to go to some gay bar somewhere and meet up with folks. Unless one is staying home to rest, or is throwing a party to have people over, the social place to be at weeks end is the bar. Hell, if you want to make new friends or catch up with folks you haven't seen in a while, head to the bar. For most men, it is a safe place since they're around their own kind, and it's easy to find who or what you're looking for. Most men who find a certain bar that they like, or that bar has people that they like, tend to frequent that bar to the point it becomes pretty routine.

Here's the thing, could it just be that there is (*gasp*) more to life and socializing than just going to the bar? Personally, I think so, unfortunately reality does not always reflect that. I have been a part of social organizations and it can be a real struggle to get the men out to events, especially on a Friday night, unless it involves a bar of course.  Granted, in a smaller place like Silver City, NM, there isn't a huge amount of activities to do on a Friday night except go to the bar, unless you're meeting at a friends house.  However I live in freaking Washington DC and have Baltimore nearby, I know there's a hell of a lot more to do here on a Friday night, just pick up a newspaper.

While we're on the subject, I have yet to ever meet a guy at a bar that is really of good quality.  A few too many times I have had the experience of someone being interested in me simply because I'm conveniently right there.  Sure you claim you're interested in me, but didn't I just see you over there making out with that guy about an hour ago?  While it's fun on occasion to simply go hunting on a Friday or Saturday night to get laid, but 9 times out of 10, that's not my agenda. So needless to say, I want to expand my horizons and move beyond the bar for when it comes to meeting new people. Maybe I can finally meet more people that have similar interests.

I get it on why we like to go to the bar.   Even if you're sick of it, it's still a comfortable place to go. You know your friends are going to be there, and things can be predictable enough that you can put your guard down a bit.  But I will be damned if I am going to sit there and go to certain bars every week.  Unfortunately for me there's not a whole lot of single guys who feel the same way and decide to make a change.   Dare to ask some people to go somewhere that's not a bar and they just get this deer in the headlights look of "You're going to take me away from this, I'm scared!"

I'm done with the usual gay bars, I'd rather go do other things, which basically means I'm stepping out of that comfort zone and into the wilderness.  I definitely feel like I'm a bit on my own, yet I know it has to be done. The only way a person can truly grow and perhaps attract a much higher level of partner, is to step out of their comfort zone and broaden their horizons. Besides, if there was any reason I needed to fall back, I have a community of friends I can go to for support, and they're not the people I see at the bar.

Go Further, Yet Step Back

So for the last few weeks I have talked about some of my interactions with people and how it's come to make me realize that with certain groups there is a sort of mob mentality that I have just not really followed into. Part of the problem I have with it is that it seems to be very limiting. Well I was having a discussion with my mom about the situation I've been through and what I've been feeling, and she asked a rather pointed question:

Do you have many straight friends?

My response was: I could use more of them.

Mom ended up bringing in a new perspective that I had not considered before. I have become complacent about looking for GLBT people who share similar interests that I do, likely because that has felt safer for me. It's time to step out of that comfort zone and involve more than just "my own kind" when it comes to my activities. Besides, then maybe I could find people that won't look at me like I have two heads when I start talking sports ;-)

It's not that I have absolutely no straight friends either, it's just more like when it comes to the mix, it's about 75% GLBT, 25% straight, and so it would be good to try and balance things out a bit anyway. So now it's just a matter of doing it. Much like when I first had to figure out where all the gays are, now it's time to take another look at where all the straights are.

Since I'm here, I might as well visit the fact that summer has basically ended and one of the things I had said was I was suspending the BF searching and just doing my own thing. Well I am going to take it a bit further back. I would again like to continue to focus on myself and the things I like to do. I think I've also made it clear by what was said up above that there are things I should continue to focus on for myself as well. Besides that, even if I have bitched at times that I have hated doing some things alone quite often, fact of the matter is that I still know damn well that when it comes to some of my interests, I am on my own with them. It ties into the fact that I need to expand my horizons of who I socialize with. I could find more people who share similar interests if I do so.

Besides that, events that I have observed over the summer seem to be a sign that right now is not the time for me to really be getting into anything with anyone else. Every time I have really had the dominating thought internally of "I really want someone here" then there has been some drama involving someone I know and their relationship with someone else. Along with that, I've also observed people I've known falling into certain patterns when it comes to their interactions, and they haven't clued in yet on just why it is that things get screwed up for them. I want to distance myself from that as it is, but since that is not always possible, I'm taking the Prime Directive as well, and I am not going to do anything that would be seen as some sort of interference. All I am going to do is sit back and watch what happens and take my own lessons from it on what not to do.  It's not even that I feel like I need to swoop in and "save" them in some nice way, it's more like I want to deck them for being so damn stupid when they should know better.  I shouldn't have to be the voice of reason when they're supposed to be the ones who are "older and wiser."

But I digress.

Point being here is that I'm just going to do what I feel like at this point, and pay attention to what is going on with me so that I don't fall into a destructive pattern.  I think in the long run it's going to make me a hell of a lot happier.

You're Not Helping

A while back I wrote about learning the hard way that by being a gay man, I am essentially banned from donating not just blood, but also bone marrow. I went into a tear about how I hated the assumption that because I have a boyfriend instead of a girlfriend, that must mean I have HIV/AIDS and therefore I should never ever be allowed to donate blood. Never mind that my own personal behaviors lean much towards being safe rather than being stupid, and I have been tested and know that I'm clean. I know I'm not the only one who has felt this way and want to have the rules changed, especially because I did give blood for a number of years before I came out.

So I find it extremely distressing when I start hearing the media report on remarks and reports coming from places like the CDC about new HIV infections, and the numbers are not good at all. What the media is saying is that when it comes to gay and bisexual men, they are fifty times more likely to catch HIV than those who are straight. Now one thing I could argue here is that they don't report that a comment in the CDC written report is that one reason the numbers could be going up is that more people are getting tested for HIV. However, still looking at the raw numbers, the highest groups are the ones who have had male-to-male contact every year.

Either way though, when you look at the numbers, they're not good, especially the numbers for people who are getting HIV through male-to-male sexual contact. Those numbers are going back up again after declining for a few years.

The point here is that it certainly isn't helping my cause to want to change the minds of those who help decide guidelines for things like blood donations. How can I convince them that someone like me when the numbers are coming back that people who have a similar background as I do are not only the ones who are catching HIV most often, but the number of new infections is going up?

So long as people continue to be reckless, then it's just going to give those who write the discriminatory rules and policies a justification to do so. They read these reports as well and in their minds, it tells them that it will continue to be better to do things like ban gay men from being able to donate blood because their donation will likely fail the disease screening and have to be thrown out anyway.

For fucks sake people, if you're with someone and the relations are relatively new, wear a condom, and/or make your partner wear a condom, period. Don't go off and have unprotected sex unless you and your partner both get tested and you're both monogamous. After that, if you two want to go at it raw, then by all means go for it, but only as long as it's just the two of you. Realize that only you can protect yourself from catching a disease, don't rely on a sexual partner to do it for you. Your actions do have consequences that can be far reaching and they do affect everyone.

What's The Point Then?

A few weeks ago a health fair was held at my place of work and I did go down there to check it out.  One of the offerings was to get on the bone marrow registry to be a donor if someone needs it.  Now this is something that I would get behind, so I started reading the paperwork.  It was when I got down to the eligibility requirements that I got a nice slap in the face by the cold wet rag of old-school overprotective thinking.

I was cheerfully informed by the paper that because I am a male who has had sex with another male, they don't want my bone marrow, period.

I hate that implication, I really truly do.  What it makes me feel like is that they have decided to assume that because I am attracted to other men and have been in relationships with them, it must mean that I am a walking disease factory, or worse, that I must have HIV/AIDS.  Never mind that I don't engage in high risk activities, nope, I must be this dirty person who is going to just go and infect other people.

What kills me about it is that folks like me are the ones actively being discriminated against.  Perhaps the medical folks have forgotten, but straight people are just as capable of catching deadly diseases from their relations as well.  It's not right that I'm not allowed to donate blood or bone marrow despite taking every precaution, but that these organizations will gladly take the same products from a straight person even though that person could be promiscuous, or even have caught something from a partner who lied to them because they didn't take proper precautions.  Seriously, what the french toast is this?

So what does that leave me?  I can't donate blood, I can't donate bone marrow, and hell, I wouldn't be surprised if I wasn't allowed to donate my organs either if I was killed in a car wreck.  Unless of course I just lie to the screeners, but I just can't do that, it's a personal violation of my own ethics.  Just remember that folks, I'm not allowed right now to save someone elses life because according to the current rules, I'm going to end up killing them with something else.

Too bad, but I think when my drivers license comes up for renewal I'll just have to remove my permission to be an organ donor, they don't seem to want me.

The Prop 8 Decision and Our Reaction.

This past week the decision was handed down about Prop 8 in California, and as expected, when the decision did not necessarily go the way the gay community wanted, there were protests in the streets and such.

I just have to wonder why the hell everyone cared so damn much about California to the point that folks across the country went nuts and started protesting at their city halls.  Where the hell were they when their own states wrote in the laws or their supreme courts made their decisions that ruled against same-sex marriage?  I don't remember seeing many folks out protesting when Maryland's court of appeals handed down a similar decision last year.

I'm beginning to find myself more in agreement with the line of thinking that this issue is going to be on a state by state basis.  I don't necessarily think it's helpful when folks will put all their eggs in one basket on focusing on one or two particular states, in this case, being California, when it seems that they neglect their own state for various reasons.  So ultimately I will probably not understand why there was so much reaction to CA, especially around here.

Marriage Decisions

Well there was big news today in regards to rights for same-sex couples.  Vermont's legislature was able to override their governor's veto and became the fourth state to legalize civil marriage for same-sex couples, and Washington DC's council voted to recognize same-sex marriages that were performed in other states.  Add on to that the unanimous decision from Iowa's supreme court that struck down their same-sex marriage ban, and it has been quite an exciting two weeks.

What I am hoping for is that it will light a fire under the Maryland legislature to extend civil marriage rights to same-sex couples as well.  For a state that has called itself "The Freedom State" it is starting to fall behind when it comes to rights.  The other thing I think we could see is a re-examination of the Federal Defense Of Marriage Act.  With a big part of the Federal government being in DC, and if the surrounding area such as Maryland and some Northern Virginia counties extend civil marriage rights, there will be a lot of unhappy federal workers if their employer continues to deny them their rights.  It would finally start putting more pressure on the Federal government to re-examine this outdated law.

For now though, I am just sitting back and watching to see where things go next.

Sirius 109, XM 98, 6-10 PM Eastern Time

Four years and three months ago, I finally jumped on the satellite radio bandwagon because I needed to listen to more than a few country stations and a top 40 station out in rural New Mexico. I went with Sirius Satellite Radio because the music lineup looked better and Howard Stern was coming, but I also got it because they had a channel dedicated to GLBT listeners, which piqued my curiosity.

I got my radio, hooked it up, activated it, and after checking out the music, I tuned in to what was then channel 149, OutQ. The first show I would hear? Derek and Romaine, a show about pop culture and whatever was on their minds. It quickly became something to listen to while I was working nights at the lab because I could always use a few laughs between tutoring folks that stopped by. Within a few weeks I was calling in, and considering that at the time I was one of the few New Mexico listeners, they knew when it was me calling in.

I actually got to meet Derek and Romaine a few months later when they attended Phoenix Pride, and they were the nicest folks to talk to. Romaine had done a pictorial in "On Our Backs" magazine so I got her to autograph it (I still have that issue!) and Derek autographed a pride guide. Two months later, I would get to see them again at DC Pride since it was right after I moved there for work.

The show has changed a bit since I first started listening, but they have kept all of the format that makes them popular. My favorite parts (besides that it's uncensored) are listening to Coffee Klatsch since it is anything goes, "What's Your Gay Problem?" (came about after a prank phone call) which is their advice segment, and "Desperately Fucking Angry" which is where listeners get to call in and rant about whatever pisses them off. I've probably called into "Desperately Fucking Angry" the most, especially during some of the worst times of my life. Actually, I have to give it some credit for prompting me to get out of a bad situation after calling in with a rant and Derek proceeded to call me out on some of my own behavior. Sometimes you just need to be yelled at, and neither Derek nor Romaine are afraid to do it if they have to.

If you haven't figured it out yet, I enjoy the show and listen every day that I am at home. If you already subscribe to Sirius or XM, tune into Sirius channel 109 or XM channel 98 from 6-10 PM Eastern time. If you are not a subscriber, consider getting the 3 day trial of Sirius Internet Radio to check them out since OutQ is one of the channels you can listen to besides all of the music. You can also find information about Derek, Romaine, and the Derek and Romaine show, including their new blog, which is written by Derek and Romaine, along with a few of their listeners.

A number of shows have come and gone on OutQ, but there is a reason that Derek and Romaine stays around, it's just that much fun to listen to.

Lobby Day

Yesterday I traveled to Annapolis to participate in Equality Maryland's lobby day.  This is my fourth year of talking to my state reps about why all same-sex couples should have the same rights and privileges that heterosexual couples have.  I'll be frank,  I was resistant to the idea of going again because it felt like it was going to be the same old song and dance that I have been hearing at both the rally and from my elected reps.  However, my attitude would change as the night went on.

The one thing that did get me to go this year was the fact that the speaker at the rally was going to be openly gay Bishop Gene Robinson.  I had always wanted the chance to meet him.  Also since my church was organizing to attend lobby day, I felt I should go.  Thing is, I am glad to see when my church does go because members from all walks of life go; all of them being supportive of the idea of equal rights for all.  I am always impressed to see the folks who do go.  As a bonus, my priest also came along and it turns out that she now lives in my legislative district.

We met at church and carpooled down to Annapolis.  I was one of the drivers as well.  We took the shuttle down to the State House and met at the Lawyers Mall where the rally was to begin.  Bishop Robinson eventually arrived and he actually came over to us because he knows Connie!  We got to meet him, shake his hand, and a few pictures of us with the Bishop were taken as well.  I'll post them when I get a copy.

The rally started and we heard from the various speakers, including the Bishop.  He had an excellent speech about how far we have come, but there is still work to be done.   Along with that he says that we should take the Bible back because our stories are in there.  We have had similar experiences that the people have faced in the old and new testament, and for far too long, there have been people who have used it to spread a narrow minded view of how people should be.  It was a most excellent speech.

After the rally we went and met with our state reps, and it was a very good meeting.  My reps, instead of being more non-committal about the bills to provide equal rights and protections for same-sex couples, transgendered people, and same-sex parents, they actually said that if the bills make it out of committee and to the floor, they will get behind them.  Thank god, we finally have more of an answer out of them!  Now to start working on the committee members so they will consider the bill and bring them to the floor.

After the meeting we went to dinner.  My $10 a month that I spend for Verizon Navigator came in handy because I was able to search for the restaurant we wanted and get walking directions right over there.  My group definitely loved me for that.  We went to the Rams Head Tavern and enjoyed a nice warm dinner by the fire, which was needed after our bit of time standing out in the cold.

So overall, it actually ended up being a good lobby day.  This time around though I am going to work to continue the dialogue that has been started with my reps and try to start dialogue with other state reps now.  It can't hurt to try.

Go See Milk

Monday night Fredo and I went to see Milk since it has finally come to the DC area. From what I heard from other folks, it was a movie worth seeing, it was going to hit you emotionally, and they were right.

To me the movie was a realistic portrayal of Harvey Milk. I knew some of the history about him and the Castro area based on some of my past research, but there was so much that was filled in that I didn't know about. None of the books I had ever really mentioned his long-time partner Scott, so that was a good detail for me to know.

Sean Penn does a good job playing Milk, he seemed to have gotten into the mind of the man, which was no easy feat considering that Milk was killed 30 years ago. Luckily from what I saw in the credits, there were many people who supported this movie and gave their time and stories, so that is probably what helped put together what really is a quality movie. It keeps on moving and doesn't drag anything out ad nauseum. I liked that they mixed real news footage with some footage they created so they could put the Sean Penn character in there as well.

One thing I had noticed in the movie was that some of Milk's speeches mentioned the word "hope" a lot. I wondered if this was based on speeches that Milk actually gave or if the writers were feeling just a wee bit inspired by the Obama campaign this year. I brought that up to Fredo and he thinks the movie speeches were from actual speeches because they would be on record somewhere.

By the time I was halfway through the movie, I was hooked, and very emotionally invested in the people, always wondering what was going to happen next. When I saw Anita Bryant show up on the screen and start in with her right wing religious bullshit, I actually growled a little bit without even consciously thinking about it. No one has gotten me to react like that before.

If you're familiar with the life of Harvey Milk, you know how this movie will end up, yet by the time it gets there, you will find yourself wishing that history had not gone the way it did. I myself was holding my breath through those final scenes and later I began to wonder, just what could have happened if history had not gone the way it did? Unfortunately we will never know.

What it boils down to is that this is a good movie, period, and after seeing it now I understand why people very much felt that it was snubbed for the Golden Globe nominations. It's not another pointless debate like the "controversy" when Crash took home an Oscar for Best Picture over Brokeback Mountain; Milk was a very good movie and it should have at least gotten a few more nominations than it did.

Go see it, no matter who you are, it's worth a look. I may have to go see it again before it leaves this theater. It's already in my Netflix queue as well.

More Gay Stuff

One thing I forgot to mention when it comes to "meaningful." If there is a company that actively gave to same-sex marriage ban campaigns or has a known record of discrimination against Gay, Lesbian, Transgendered or Bisexual people, then write a letter to them expressing your views, and don't patronize their business or buy their products until they change. Hit them in the wallet where it hurts.

In other news, I am dismayed to read some of Prince's views on gay people and same-sex marriage. Yes I get it that it is part of his beliefs, and he can choose to believe them and express those beliefs. At the same time, I can choose to basically say "I think your narrow viewpoint stinks" and not buy any more of his music. I have dropped his music out of my active rotation of MP3's, removed Purple Rain from my Netflix queue, and like I just mentioned, I won't be buying any more of his music.

Too bad, he's a talented person, but he doesn't deserve my money.

Define "Meaningful"

A good friend of mine read my last entry about the protests and asked me what meaningful meant.  I considered what he said and realized that especially because many people feel emotional about the issue of Prop 8, they could take actions that would not be helpful.

First and foremost: Do not break the law.
We already have an incident where someone has been sending powder filled envelopes to the mormon temples and it has gotten the FBI involved.  That does nothing but make those protesting prop 8 look like a bunch of crazy psychopaths.  Please do not engage in and get into physical fights with prop 8 supporters.  If you want to look at an example of how to protest correctly, look to Romaine Patterson and her "Angels" at the Matthew Shepard trial.

Start talking to your friends and family, whether you are gay, straight, bi, trans, whatever.  Get the word out on how this issue affects others, including yourself if you are affected.  Make the point that this is absolutely a civil issue, not a spritual issue.  What I have said for years is that it is not like gay people are going to storm the churches, put a gun to the priest's head, and demand that they perform the marriage.  It is the absolute truth, many gay folk are either not in church, or they dont follow religions that have issues with them.  The ones who do would like to enlighten their churches, but they realize that's an uphill battle, and they're not going to completely take that on right now.  It is a civil issue, period.  If you believe that God think that being gay is wrong, fine, that's your belief, but God also thinks discrimination is wrong as well.  There is no reason discrimination should be sanctioned in our constitutions.  

Write to your representatives at the city, county, state, and federal levels.  Let them know what you think.  If you and many others can show a politician that you care about this issue and giving equal rights to all people, they will start paying attention.  If your politicians go against the idea of civil rights, then work to get them voted out of office, and I mean work by supporting the other candidate and spread the word about how the incumbent voted against the rights.

Consider volunteering some time and perhaps make a donation to a group that is working towards same-sex marriage rights.  It seems that every state has an "Equality [state]" organization, so there may be something out there.  I wholeheartedly suggest that you vet the organization as much as possible to see what they have done to make sure that they are actually trying to do the work rather than just take your money and laugh all the way to the bank.

Finally...VOTE!!!!  Believe it or not, there is more than just the presidential elections every four years.  Many states or cities have an election every year for something, and the politicians can be changed in an "off-year."  Make your voice heard, go vote!