A space to post my thoughts and musings about anything. This includes but is not limited to community, politics, current events, dating, GLBTQ issues, favorite things, and stuff that would make your dead relatives blush. I am not afraid to go there, as some can attest.

August 19, 2008

They Can't Help You

All of us at one point or another have gone through a breakup, and I would say that 99% of you listened to certain songs as your "breakup" mix. Hell, if you look at many of the pop songs out there, they're focused on love, relationships, cheating, and/or breakups. Since love, relationships, and breakups are something we all go through, we can relate to the songs, and that's why they sell so well.

I have noticed two major threads when it comes to the songs that relate most to breakups. There's the "We're not together but I want him/her back" song, or there's the "He/she dumped me, but I'll be fine (opt: and he/she is an asshole)" song. I prefer the latter, especially because I am a strong person, and my favorite music artists tend to be "strong" as well.

However, there's one "breakup" type song I have heard lately that just drives me up a fucking wall. If you listen to the radio, watch MTV, or visit a video bar, you've likely heard it. It's called "Damaged" by Danity Kane. I will state that I am not against Danity Kane as a group, there is some talent there. However, the content of this song absolutely makes me mental because it paints one of the biggest mistakes you can make when starting a new relationship in a flattering light.

Here's the video if you want to see what I am talking about before I get into the details.



So the song is basically them saying that the last guy they were with broke their heart, they're still heartbroken, and you need to help them fix their heartbreak because they won't be able to move on and be with you otherwise.

Every time I hear this song, I just want to yell "Bitch, you need to fix your own damn self before you go looking for someone else." Based on my own experiences and the things I have read, you have to be past the heartbreak and okay with being by yourself before you can be with someone else. If you pursue another person thinking they're going to help fix your broken heart, you're probably going to end up chasing them off because they'll view you as a totally different form of "Damaged," in this case as "Damaged Goods." No one wants to be damaged goods, do they?

I'm probably reading into it a bit too much, but I just hope no one who is a fan of this group gets it into their head that it's okay to basically get someone else to fix their personal issues. They can't fix them for you, you have to fix them for yourself.

Of course, as I type this I'm listening to the following:



I love Ms. Janet, and I can totally relate to this song right now, even though I don't have to find someone to call my lover right now as the song sort of implies.