September 27, 2010
Playing By Your Rules
I am currently filling out my drivers license renewal paperwork and one of the questions is asking if I wish to be an organ donor. Five years ago I immediately checked "Yes" to this question. This time around, I am checking "No."
It is not that I don't believe that my organs could help someone, rather I am playing by the rules that have been handed to me. Since I am a man who loves another man and not a woman, the FDA and other rulemakers automatically assume that I am a walking disease factory who is hell bent on infecting others. It is too bad since my behaviors and testing proves otherwise. However, this assumption means that I am banned for life from donating blood or bone marrow.
Since I am already banned for life from being allowed to donate and help others, fine, you can't have my organs either, you probably do not want them anyway. Just remember that under the current rules, a promiscuous straight person can happily give all the blood and bone marrowthey want, but a monogamous gay person cannot. You had better pray the promiscuous ones always practiced safe sex.
Perhaps if the rules change I will go back to checking "Yes" to organ donation; but I am not holding my breath that it will happen in my lifetime.
Location : 2-34 Parkway, Greenbelt, MD 20770,
August 31, 2009
You're Not Helping
So I find it extremely distressing when I start hearing the media report on remarks and reports coming from places like the CDC about new HIV infections, and the numbers are not good at all. What the media is saying is that when it comes to gay and bisexual men, they are fifty times more likely to catch HIV than those who are straight. Now one thing I could argue here is that they don't report that a comment in the CDC written report is that one reason the numbers could be going up is that more people are getting tested for HIV. However, still looking at the raw numbers, the highest groups are the ones who have had male-to-male contact every year.
Either way though, when you look at the numbers, they're not good, especially the numbers for people who are getting HIV through male-to-male sexual contact. Those numbers are going back up again after declining for a few years.
The point here is that it certainly isn't helping my cause to want to change the minds of those who help decide guidelines for things like blood donations. How can I convince them that someone like me when the numbers are coming back that people who have a similar background as I do are not only the ones who are catching HIV most often, but the number of new infections is going up?
So long as people continue to be reckless, then it's just going to give those who write the discriminatory rules and policies a justification to do so. They read these reports as well and in their minds, it tells them that it will continue to be better to do things like ban gay men from being able to donate blood because their donation will likely fail the disease screening and have to be thrown out anyway.
For fucks sake people, if you're with someone and the relations are relatively new, wear a condom, and/or make your partner wear a condom, period. Don't go off and have unprotected sex unless you and your partner both get tested and you're both monogamous. After that, if you two want to go at it raw, then by all means go for it, but only as long as it's just the two of you. Realize that only you can protect yourself from catching a disease, don't rely on a sexual partner to do it for you. Your actions do have consequences that can be far reaching and they do affect everyone.
June 25, 2009
Give and Take
It can be generally said that if something happens to someone I know or they call for help in some way, I will step up and do what I can to help them out. I don't expect anything in return, I just do it. However, I completely and utterly suck at the reverse. I have difficulties with asking for help or even taking help from the folks I know and care about. A little of it is my nature, I'm a fairly independent person and pretty used to doing things for myself. However, it's also a bit of learned behavior in that I fear crossing that line where I'm going from getting a little extra support to becoming a mooch or lazy. It was like I was saying a few weeks ago, I felt wrong that someone was cleaning up my apartment and doing my laundry because my immediate reaction is they shouldn't have had to do it because it wasn't their mess to clean up, it was mine, and I should be responsible for it. However, considering that I was still using a chair to pull myself up off the couch because it was too painful to shift all of my weight into using my legs (as anyone would do), there was no way in hell I could have handled carrying clothing. What I needed to learn was that the people involved understood this and that was why they were willing to step forward and take care of things. Normally I'm the one who is thinking that I get what another person is going through and it's why I help them out, well I needed to learn that there are other folks I know who think the same way.
The other thing I got out of this was learning just who my friends were and where the quality relationships are in my life. It isn't just with those folks who visited at the hospital, gave rides, or stopped by; it was also those who expressed their concerns when they heard what had happened. I guess you do learn just who cares about you when you end up with something more involved than your standard sniffles.
Ultimately what comes out of this is the life lesson that it is perfectly okay to ask for and receive assistance from those you love and care about, especially when you're in a situation where some of your capacities are limited. Am I going to be perfect in recognizing when it's completely okay? Probably not. I will still have to overcome my natural instinct to be Mr. Independent, but at least I have a better sense of understanding that other folks I know will step forward if they feel it is right to do so, and if they didn't, I wouldn't hear from them.
Since we were on the subject about my surgery, I was asked the other day if I was scared of going under the knife. The answer is No. It's not because I am under the delusion that I am invincible or anything like that. However, I was in some pretty hardcore pain and puking my guts out every hour thanks to my reaction to morphine so I really wasn't in a state to sit and let my mind run through the possibilities of how this surgery could go and get worked up that it could go wrong. Besides that, I have no real fear of hospitals in general, and you can thank (or blame) my parents for that one ;-)
June 23, 2009
Back to Normal
Went and saw the doctor today for a follow-up. That had to have been one of the shortest visits I have ever had, simply because I'm basically fine. My scar has healed up very well, and I am up and moving about and look great. Not much else had to be done except to look at the scar and advise me to keep it out of the sun as much as possible. Apparently it could end up looking really ugly if I don't. Now I normally like being out in the sun anyway, so I'll have to make sure to cover it in sunscreen.
Have I mentioned that medical bills suck? That's a whole other story though.
Besides that, now it means no more restrictions, and it's about freaking time. I was starting to feel a bit like a blob because there is some exercise I have not been able to do for the last few weeks, such as my shovelgloving, or even some of the strength exercises on Wii Fit. Now that I can do them again, I will be working out with a vengeance. I already did so tonight.
Now I can ride roller coasters as well, which is good because I have been making plans to make a few park visits. As it is, I am up to 96 coasters ridden in the world. I will be crossing the 100 coasters mark in the next few weeks when I make my very first visit to Carowinds down in Charlotte, NC. I can't wait to go because it looks like there are some good coasters there, and it's another Cedar Fair owned park. I also scored an awesome deal on a hotel that is a mile from the park. Perhaps there is someone who is interested in joining me?
So glad to pick up where I left off, in a sense.
June 07, 2009
What's The Point Then?
A few weeks ago a health fair was held at my place of work and I did go down there to check it out. One of the offerings was to get on the bone marrow registry to be a donor if someone needs it. Now this is something that I would get behind, so I started reading the paperwork. It was when I got down to the eligibility requirements that I got a nice slap in the face by the cold wet rag of old-school overprotective thinking.
I was cheerfully informed by the paper that because I am a male who has had sex with another male, they don't want my bone marrow, period.
I hate that implication, I really truly do. What it makes me feel like is that they have decided to assume that because I am attracted to other men and have been in relationships with them, it must mean that I am a walking disease factory, or worse, that I must have HIV/AIDS. Never mind that I don't engage in high risk activities, nope, I must be this dirty person who is going to just go and infect other people.
What kills me about it is that folks like me are the ones actively being discriminated against. Perhaps the medical folks have forgotten, but straight people are just as capable of catching deadly diseases from their relations as well. It's not right that I'm not allowed to donate blood or bone marrow despite taking every precaution, but that these organizations will gladly take the same products from a straight person even though that person could be promiscuous, or even have caught something from a partner who lied to them because they didn't take proper precautions. Seriously, what the french toast is this?
So what does that leave me? I can't donate blood, I can't donate bone marrow, and hell, I wouldn't be surprised if I wasn't allowed to donate my organs either if I was killed in a car wreck. Unless of course I just lie to the screeners, but I just can't do that, it's a personal violation of my own ethics. Just remember that folks, I'm not allowed right now to save someone elses life because according to the current rules, I'm going to end up killing them with something else.
Too bad, but I think when my drivers license comes up for renewal I'll just have to remove my permission to be an organ donor, they don't seem to want me.


June 02, 2008
Good News for Me
For those who don't know, last year when I had my cholesterol tested, I had a high level of triglycerides, and my HDL (good) cholesterol was low. That for me is a warning sign that I could develop Hyperlipidemia Type IIb and since I would not like to die of a heart attack in 30 years or less, it meant taking steps to see if I could bring the cholesterol under control. Diet and exercise changes were the big things, because as I have said before, I do not want to go on pills.
Well it looks like the lifestyle changes are working because things are more normal
Normal Ranges:
Cholesterol: 100-200
HDL: 40-59
LDL: 0-100
Triglycerides: <150
Old Results:
Cholesterol: 137
HDL: 37
LDL: 59
Triglycerides: 207
New Results:
Cholesterol: 141
HDL: 42
LDL: 71
Triglycerides: 141
So from what I can see, I dropped my triglycerides 66 points, which is great. I have raised the HDL to where it should be, and stayed within a good range for the overall cholesterol. I am thinking the LDL is a little higher than I want it to be, but that can be fixed. I know I can improve on the lifestyle stuff, and so I'll keep on doing what I am doing, and a bit more.
Waiting....Waiting
He hadn't been feeling well for part of the morning and took off from the Orioles game early, went home, had a nap, seemed to be fine. He had felt a bit of pain in his chest but it went away so it didn't seem like there was much to worry about.
However, before bed, the pains came back, and he was feeling a bit of tightness.
So we go downstairs, he talks to his parents, they all decide it might be best for him to go to the ER and get it checked out just to see what's going on.
So I drive him over to the local hospital, his mother following behind us. We get in, and he registers and is heading back there within minutes (that's triage for ya). JH's mom and I sit and wait, watching really bad late night TV. I get a text that they're taking the vitals, then another text that his blood pressure was really high and they were immediately hooking him up to an EKG. Of course I swear (right in front of his mother no less) when I see that text. I know that it's pretty routine if a patient says they're having chest pains to do an EKG to make sure nothing is seriously wrong there, but hearing EKG and high blood pressure does not sound like a good combination.
Eventually they bring him out, then he goes back in again to get a chest X-ray done. Then it's back out again to wait some more. Then it's waiting and more waiting. Finally we all get to go back to the exam room where JH throws on some scrubs and we wait for the doctor. The doc shows up and asks a few questions, takes his BP again, it's more normal this time around.
So what's the final verdict? JH had some inflammation of the cartilage in his ribs, so it was nothing too serious, plus his blood pressure had come down from the time he was first admitted. They gave him a prescription for the pain and sent us on our way. JH's mom headed home while we dropped into a local Rite Aid to get the 'scrip filled. Then it was home and bedtime.
I'm just glad he was okay and that it was nothing very serious.
I was also reminded of why I am not a big fan of the ER (sorry Mom). I don't fear them, I just hate the waiting, but I also know that it can't be helped.
April 08, 2008
One Down...
Those of you who know JH or at least read his blog are aware that he had surgery to open up his nasal passages today. I got a call from his mom while I was at work letting me know that the doctor told them that Joe went through the surgery just fine.
I went and saw him this evening, and except for some gauze under his nose that's being held up by a rubber band to capture the nosebleed he's having from this, he looks fine. They didn't have to break his nose, which in turn meant he didn't have any black eyes from it. He has some pain, and he's on a course of erythromycin to prevent infection, but otherwise he's in good spirits. I brought over The Simpsons to watch, and tomorrow night I'll be over there again to hang out with him for the evening and for Wednesday, that way his parents won't have to worry about him while they're at work.
As I was delightfully informed this evening, there will be no kissing for the next few days due to the bleeding from the nose, which is fine because I don't have a kink for blood play, and neither does JH ;-)
I'm just glad he's okay now, and hopefully he'll be breathing better in no time.
February 28, 2008
Better News
He will be undergoing another sleep test to see if the adenoids, some mucous membranes, and his uvula have to come out as well. When I talked to my parents about it, they said that it might be best just to get everything out now because it just means one surgery. However, I know it's ultimately between JH and his surgeon on what they do.
So, sometime in the next three months, he'll be undergoing surgery, we're thinking likely in May. I kind of hope it's a bit sooner, and I know he does as well.
February 27, 2008
Sleeping? Not Much.
JH already spelled it out, but basically his Sleep Apnea is very bad, but it's treatable. However, it means surgery to remove his tonsils, and that already sounds scary enough. As part of their standard procedure of making sure to inform the patient about all aspects of the surgery, they mentioned that it could get difficult and that he could die on the table. Now that's really something you don't want to hear.
So I get part of this via text yesterday, since we basically do not call one another at work. Then after a few responses from me, I heard nothing. Our plans that evening were to go to a Black Rose educational meeting, and I never heard from him by the time I had metroed up to Greenbelt, so I called and left a voicemail, and you could hear that I was annoyed because quite frankly, I don't like being kept in the dark or hanging, because if plans needed to be changed and I was to go somewhere else to meet JH, I needed to know before I walked through the turnstile.
Eventually I got through to him and then I finally get the whole story, and yes, it's scary what I hear, to the point that JH breaks down over the phone. It's not a phone call I expected to take, but that's just how it goes. We agree to meet at my place and then go from there, but Black Rose is definitely out that night.
I call my parents since they're all familiar with how it goes down in the medical world and get the facts on how these procedures tend to work. Basically yes, there are risks to having surgery like that, but the benefits outweigh the risks, especially with how bad the apnea is getting. It's scary to hear all of this, JH is in shock from the news, so of course he's scared. However, his quality of life will improve greatly once the surgery is done, yes he'll be sore for a few days, but any surgery will leave you that way.
JH arrives, I get off the phone, and we talk, we go to dinner, we head to his place and just try to relax. At this point JH is looking to stay at his parents house most of the time for the next few months because his roommate is often not home, and he would rather be somewhere where if he has a choking attack during the night right now or while he's healing up, there's someone nearby who can help him. I don't blame him in a case like this.
Am I a bit scared? You betcha, but going forward from this, I would want to see him get better because I have heard him in his sleep, it's clear there's a problem, and he has gone through enough nights of not getting enough sleep due to this. Also, there's people who have done surgeries like this over and over again, and they will always be prepared for the worst to happen, even if the worst does not come to pass.
Tomorrow he has an appt with a surgeon at 3:30 for an initial consultation. He'll be more informed on what the surgery will involve, and some of this information will probably be rehashed, but some will be new, but I hope it will put JH's mind at ease.