A Post-Lenten Reflection

Are you there God?  It's me, Mangi.

Okay, maybe not quite that kind of conversation at the moment, but the past 40 days of Lent did give me a chance to put a few things in perspective.

It started with my usual perusal of my Facebook news feed on Ash Wednesday.  At that point, I was kind of frustrated with what I was seeing.  The whole Oregon Standoff drama was finally winding down so there were less posts about that, but the primaries were ramping up and with it I saw a lot of sniping between people on there.  It was especially getting nasty between some Bernie and Hillary supporters, to the point I wanted to lock a few of them in a room and say "Okay, either fight it out or fuck it out but you're not leaving until y'all can be civil."  Add on that I was also seeing articles being posted that meant I was doing cross-checks on Snopes and FactCheck every day and often pointing out corrections, it was getting tiring to even look at Facebook.

Then I saw a status posted by a friend, MR.  She said she was so tired of the current dramas that maybe she should quit Facebook for Lent.  I read that and thought, "You know what? That's a great idea, I'm doing that."  So after services that night, I logged out of Facebook on my phone and computer, and that was that.

If you're reading this because my cross-posting to Facebook still works, you might think that you missed reading that I was going off of Facebook for a while, or something similar.  You didn't.  I said nothing about what I was doing (sorry mom!).  There were a few reasons behind that.  Usually when I have seen people say "Oh I'm leaving/taking a break from [social network] for a while" or similar it turns into this whole thing of "Oh don't go, was it something we did?"  I wasn't looking for that kind of attention.  Also since I was doing this for Lent and Lent isn't supposed to be a competition, I generally don't talk about if I am giving something up for Lent.

However, since Lent is supposed to be a time of self-reflection and perhaps growth, did I learn something from just hopping offline from Facebook?  Yeah, the picture below sums it up:

Social media sites have made it easy to hear about the things going on with people you meet.  You can respond to what they have shared, and then move on to the next subject.  Yet, the cost can be that you really don't sit and have a richer conversation with that person and so you don't interact as much as you should.  Also, I realize that Facebook has kind of been a crutch for being social with some of the people I know.  It's been convenient to just respond to their posts and maybe shoot them the occasional message, but once I removed that, I found out where I had been neglecting some aspects of being a friend or at least an acquaintance.

A perfect example was coordinating seeing a concert with SF and a few other friends.  He had originally sent me the invite on Facebook.  I hadn't made the decision to go when I started my "No Facebook" days, and I discovered I didn't have his number so that I could call or text to RSVP and coordinate meeting up.  Thankfully I did have buried in my address book an E-mail address for him, but he happened to also contact one of my other friends for my phone number so he could get in touch with me since he had not heard from me on Facebook.

Okay, so maybe it was a moment where I should have said something before I hopped off Facebook.  However, it also showed that I really let that convenience of just using Facebook to contact someone take over to where I really didn't have other methods of communication to get in touch with some of my friends or acquaintances.

I know this may also sound odd to some, but it's like even when I do have things like E-mail, phone numbers, or instant messenger name, I'm hesitant to E-mail, text, or call.  I don't entirely know why, but I get it into my head that I'm probably interrupting something and being a bother.  It's dumb really, I know, but I guess old habits are hard to break at times.  I mean, yeah, a phone call does demand your full attention, though if you can't be interrupted, you can send it to voicemail.  A text, IM, or E-mail doesn't have to be answered right away.  I don't expect people to immediately snap to attention and answer me the minute I ping their phone or computer.  I certainly don't answer immediately if I am in the middle of something else.  If it was really that important, then I should be calling.  Yet I've never been able to fully break from the idea that I'm just going to be bugging them if I shoot them a random "Hey, what's up?"  That's something I need to work on.

So I've seen that I need to improve on actually talking to some of the people I know, especially local people and those I have known for years.  It's going to take some work and some time, but I should be able to do it.  The first step is to actually get info like E-mail, phone numbers, and IM names from people whose info I am missing.  Of course I will share mine, and I have a number of ways to be contacted.

Another thing I found was that I could put more attention into other activities both online and offline.  I rediscovered a few websites I had not visited in a while, plus there was more time being put into activities like reading or video games.  Of course I still have the backlog of both of those, but I will get caught up.

The funny thing is despite this, I don't feel this urgent need to immediately hop back on Facebook.  I know I should clear a few things out because Facebook was oh so helpfully harassing me via E-mail about all of the things I was missing.  Seriously, logoff from Facebook and they will start sending you an E-mail every few days telling you how many messages and status updates you have been missing.  Then they ratchet it up to every day, sometimes even twice a day.  A few new rules in my E-mail account fixed that.

Anyway, so while I'll be back on Facebook, its role in how I use it is going to change.  I'll keep up here and there, but I don't want to go back to where I am checking it at least once a day.  Besides, if it turns out my news feed is still overrun with sniping politics, I have better things to do with my time at that point than try to wade through all of it.

So onward with a fresh perspective on where I stand when it comes to my online activities and how I keep up with the people I know and the people I will meet.

Hitting the Dark Place

Reality is beginning to sink in now about the events of the last few days, and it is putting me into a rather dark mood.

In about 15 hours, I should have been getting ready to board a plane to Latvia to give my presentation on Thursday before taking a vacation to Rome.  Instead, I will be at home, unable to leave because fate is a cruel cruel mistress.

I just want to know one thing, what the fuck did I do to deserve this?  That trip to Europe was supposed to be the highlight of my summer.  I spent six months, from the time that there was a call for papers to the point where I had a polished presentation ready to go until last week when I landed in the hospital.  That paper and presentation was something that I put in a lot of time and effort, and for what?  So that I could sit on my ass and watch TV most of the day because it sometimes hurts to move?

The worst part about it is the fact that I am homebound.  I can't even make up for the loss of going to Europe right now by being able to do something else.  I'm only now starting to have more normal bodily functions, I still don't have my car, and most activities I would partake in are banned until I see the doctor, and that is on Thursday.  

Part of what is driving this dark mood is undeserved guilt that I am bringing on myself.  My boss has to give my presentation for me, people have had to bring me food, and some have even helped with cleaning up my apartment.  You know what, I feel wrong about it, like I am putting them in a position they shouldn't be in.  I made any mess that is in my apartment, I should have to clean it up (I would totally suck at having a maid).  I probably sound like an ungrateful bastard, but it's difficult to break from that learned trait that I am a complete and utter selfish dickhead if I make others do things that I could be and should be doing myself.

I'll get over this eventually, but probably not until I can resume normal activities again.

Random Thought

I got an E-mail in my spam account that the True Colors tour is coming back again, and that it is to benefit the Human Rights Campaign (HRC).

Well let me be the first to say it:

Fuck HRC

That is all.

Fucking Metro

Dear DC Metro,

Normally I have much love for you guys because it means I get to avoid the hellishness known as the Capital Beltway every morning and evening. However, right now I have no love for the way your buses are running and because of a lack of tracking buses.

I have a choice of three different bus routes I can take to get to my apartment, which in an ideal situation is great because if I miss one bus, I can catch another. However, these three bus routes are stacked up on top of one another when it comes to leaving Greenbelt Station. Essentially they all leave within a 10 minute time period, so if I miss them, I'm waiting at least another 20-30 minutes for the next stack of these buses to show up. That's the first issue.

After a few months of riding the buses, I know that if I am lucky enough to get there early, I can catch the R12, which is the fastest one home, but more often than not I end up taking a slightly longer route, it happens, that's fine. What's not so fine is what happened tonight.

I ended up hopping on one of the longest routes for me to get home, which was irritating in itself because I needed to be elsewhere this evening for a meeting, and I wanted to make it on time. As the bus is leaving Greenbelt station and getting into the clusterfuck of a line on Metro drive, I get the (dis)pleasure of watching the R12 bus (that I could have taken to shave 20 minutes off of my trip) go by as it is pulling into Greenbelt Station 10 minutes late from its usual time. If I had some way of knowing when the next R12 bus was arriving, I could have gotten home much faster this evening.

The worst part is that Metro did have such a system for buses for a while, but their software was so screwed up that currently it's down while they rewrite it. That doesn't help me, assholes.

So in conclusion, you get no love from me right now thanks to your crap scheduling of these bus routes and the lack of knowing when the next bus is coming...assholes.

WTF Are They Thinking?!

So the big news today has been that the constitutional reforms in Venezuela that Hugo Chavez was pushing for were narrowly voted down. Considering what the man was planning, this was a good thing.

However, 365gay.com decided to bring up a little known part of the constitutional changes, as if it was some great and wonderful offset to the fact that the man wanted to be able to run for president until he dies and elect all of his buddies to make sure that whatever he says, goes.

I'm all for making sure that sexual orientation is not used in a discriminatory way, but I don't want them thrown in as a smoke screen to make it look like a politician is doing something nice when in reality they're working to take away the rights of all people. I find it very doubtful that even if it passed, that the gays in Venezuela would be treated any better.

So I have to wonder what the fuck 365gay.com is thinking when they report something like this, and it's in the tone of leaning supportive to the changes. Are they that fucking blind that all they see is the carrot being dangled of "protecting the gays" that they miss the man that's about to smash them over the head with the baton of a potential dictatorship?

This is why I really can't stand the gay media or the groups that claim they're working for us, they always seem to put their emphasis on the wrong things, and then we look like a bunch of idiots.

I Love My Work, But...

...sometimes people make me crazy over there.

I work on a rather large and complex survey known as Consumer Expenditures, every quarter we make a release of the survey instrument, and it includes revisions made because the sponsors change questions, add sections, delete sections, correct problems found out in production, etc. Since January is the next quarterly release, it has meant over the last month or so I've been busy fixing things up that have been found. It starts with a phone call or e-mail from the sponsor about an issue, I research it, report back what the code is doing, discuss a solution, and make the fix. Occasionally the problem is not with my code, but with their post processing system, it's how it happens at times. Either way, it gets done.

However, sometimes I don't get the pertinent info needed, and then it just makes me crazy. The day before Thanksgiving it was my extra day off. I come into the office on Black Friday to the following voicemail [paraphrased]

"Hi, this is X, we're reviewing the October production data and it looks like there is a problem with some data not being in the right place for processing. Please give me a call if you're in the office today, but if you're out of the office the rest of this week, then call me or Y back on Monday."

Notice that no where is it mentioned what data is off, or even what section could be having a problem. Just, there's a problem we need looked at. Okay, great, now if you had just told me what the problem was, I could have used part of my Friday to research it, rather than have to wait until Monday morning.

Generally things go fine though, and they love me over there, so it all works out. I was able to diagnose the problem on Monday, it was on their end, it will be fixed for next month's production.

Fucking PEPCO!

Utility companies suck, period.

In the latest installment with my saga with Pepco over my bill, I got to call and get bitchy with a customer service rep.

In early October, I received my bill and found that the final bill amount was transferred to my new bill. I call up Pepco and I'm told that it's fine because the amount is still under investigation and to only pay any new charges. I do so, paying for only the new charges. I'm thinking everything is fine, no problem, I'll pay whatever they want me to pay. I have already transferred the full disputed amount to my savings so I have it on hand in case they come back from their investigation and say "It's not our fault, pay the full amount."

Today, I get a notice that I am delinquent on my electric bill and to fork over the cash or I will be cut off. This is when I call and basically throw a fit at their CSR about this. I get transferred to the investigations department where my "caseworker" informs me that I should not have ever gotten these notices, and that I should not be in jeopardy of being cut off. He says that he will make a note in my account so that I don't get these notices. He also mentions that it looks like there will be a credit coming to my account, ballpark figure of $70. That's right folks, Pepco figures that their estimate overcharged me by $70. That's not chump change.

I also can't believe this, but he also suggested that if it will not cause hardship to just pay the disputed amount now so there's no other issues. Though considering that my latest usage was only $27, if I get at least a $70 credit, I'll have 3 months of no bill from Pepco.

They had better not ding my credit over this, I'll go after their asses for it if they do.

Saturday Night Dramafest

When I broke up with Mike the comment from my dad was to make sure not to date a queen. I learned this past Saturday that at times you shouldn't even be friends with one, or many.

*background: Ty is an ex of Joshua, and he's dating another Josh, for the purposes of this story, he will be known as Josh 2*

There were some guys I knew from around Annapolis, I hadn't seen them in a while so I invited them out to go bar hopping in DC. The plan was to meet at Zorbas Cafe in Dupont Circle and then go from there. So I'm heading down to DC and I get a text message, they're running late. Okay, no biggie. I get to Dupont, it's early so I head over to Lambda Rising figuring I'd browse until they told me they were at Dupont. I get another text, they're on 50, and oh, by the way, Ty and Josh 2 are joining us for dinner as well, and they're already there. So I'm thinking, "Great, this is going to be awkward, should I just leave, or suck it up and deal with it?" I chose the latter because I'm not going to have someone like Ty ruin my night, even if he basically doesn't like me. I take a walk up the block and back because it was a nice night.

So I go over to Zorbas and there's about 30 minutes of a bit of awkward conversation before the other boys finally arrive, and there's the usual catching up on stuff. Then as it goes on, the conversation gets really weird. One starts talking about this porn that he sent to Ty, and that there's this felching (NSFW Text) scene that was just so hot. So of course there's graphic discussion going on about various sexual practices along with what people like and do not like. I'm already on the verge of vomiting because of the felching discussion, and the last thing I really want to do is discuss my sex life and what my preferences are in front of Ty, because quite frankly, he and Josh are the type of people that if you want everyone in DC to know something about you, you tell them. About this point I should have sent someone a text begging them to call me and tell me their cat exploded or something just so I can get out of there.

So finally dinner ends, the first place to go is to Be Bar. Basically Be Bar is like one of those "classy" video bars that serve overpriced martinis that are so sickeningly sweet that you're just asking to make a sacrifice to the porcelain gods later. It really wasn't my scene, I like watching music videos, but I don't care for the "We're trying to look like the Queer Eye guys decorated our place" type of bar. Either way, so eventually we leave, it's too early to go to the Green Lantern, so they opt to go to the Eagle.

Anyway, so we get there, and basically I'm just hanging out drinking a beer and people watching, and they're around of course. I do get into a discussion with a rather cute tattooed guy and have a discussion about his tat's and also his nipple piercings. Mostly it's a curiosity thing because I have considered getting them pierced, but after talking with him, probably not since I could lose sensitivity. Either way, I'm pretty relaxed and just going with the flow.

So eventually these boys want to leave. So we're gathered over by upstairs and I basically say "Okay then, let's go" and I head downstairs. I wait, and I wait...I head outside to return a phone call to Joshua, and I wait, and I wait, and I wait, and I wait some more. About ten minutes later I get this text message "Where are you?" And so goes the following text conversation:

Me: I'm outside waiting for you, what the fuck is going on?
X: We had to collect
Me: What the fuck is going on, he was right there with us when I was inside, you wanted to leave, so I went outside.
X: Well maybe if you hadn't bolted out the door, you wouldn't have had to wait
Me: You know what, fuck you guys. I'm not putting up with this shit of you wanting to leave and then you don't show. Pick up your booty call and go home.

So then I left, hopped on Metro, and headed home. Next time, I'm either going out by myself, or I'm going to be much more choosy about who I head out with. I don't want or need any fucking drama queens in my life.

One last thought

I swear I'll go to bed, but there's just one other thing on my mind that I just wanted to get out.

While Joshua is an ex, yes I still hang out with him. Just because we dated at one point it doesn't mean I can't ever be a friend or still hang out with him. We have a good time together, and we both have no illusions about the bond between us. In fact, if it turns out that the guy he is currently interested in is someone that I know on DC Front Runners, I'll be promoting Joshua to this guy.

So If I hear one more person ask me or Joshua "Why do you hang out with your ex?" or some variation of that, I will hunt them down and beat them senseless with a clue-by-four.

Thank You and Goodnight.

Customers and Retail Folk Suck...

...or why it took 4 stores to find vacuum cleaner bags!

Seriously, Thursday night was the errand run from Hell. I went and got my bike from the shop, got my Camelbak and then headed to Target to get vacuum bags for the vacuum cleaner that Joshua gave me. Eureka Type U vacuum bag was what I was looking for.

I get to Target and I locate the bags...that's great...except both of the packs have been opened up. I threw them back onto the shelf and walked out of there. I'm sure they weren't poisoned or anything, but seriously, who the fuck opens up a pack of vacuum bags in the store?! They're all marked with the brand name and bag type that they fit. They could have still been good, but it was the principle of the thing, I shouldn't have to buy products that may have been tampered with.

So it's off to K-Mart. No bags for my vacuum cleaner; on the shelf spot where the bags should have been was a completely different set of bags. So clearly some stocker can't read, or they just don't give a shit.

Next it's off to Giant, and this is a long shot because Giant is a supermarket. No bags for my vacuum.

Finally, I go to the Safeway, and they have my bags. Hurrah, right? Wrong. This Safeway is hell when it comes to trying to get through their checkout lines because they always seem to be understaffed. You can go in there and you will find only four out of ten lanes open, and the lines extend to at least 1/3 of the aisle back. So I get the lovely pleasure of waiting, waiting, and waiting before I can finally get out of there and go home. By the time I got home, it was wayyyyyyy too late to even think of trying to clean my house...unless I wanted to piss off my neighbors.

At least I got my damn bags, I bought six of them just so I don't have to deal with that again for at least another year.

That Was Fun

So I made sure to take Dax's advice and eat nothing but salad before heading to Fogo de Chão last night. Of course the advice worked as myself and others stuffed themselves silly with meat and more meat. That place is so worth it for a special occasion. However, for my birthday, it may be about eating sushi and lots of it. I was told once by Joshua that there is a great place to get a big portion of sushi in NoVA, I just have to ask him where it is.

Speaking of Joshua, there are plans to have him help me search for a bike. I took a look at buying parts to fix my old bike, and it's really not worth it anymore. Even if I were to buy parts off of Ebay, it's still going to cost about as much as the bike is worth, so it's time for a new one. I want to do more riding anyway so I can save on bus fare.

I have a gripe with the Metro website. I looked at Greenbelt station to see if there was information on bike lockers (if I'm buying a new bike, it's going in a locker, not on a rack.) and all they had was a phone number I could call. So I call the number, and I am basically instructed to leave a voicemail with my name, address, phone number, e-mail address, and station that I am asking about...or for faster service I can e-mail all of this information to bikenride@wmata.com Well why isn't this E-mail address on the website so I can e-mail them for information instead of listening to a recorded voicemail prompt? It gets better though, when I get the auto-reply to my E-mail, they also mention they want an approximate date that I need the locker. Why didn't the voicemail say so?! Besides that, if the rate is a flat rate (which I bet it is) then why don't they just publish that on the site as well? So Metro could stand to improve on how they handle this, especially because DC supposedly wants more of us to stop using our cars.

If the rate is lower than what it would cost me to take the bus to and from Greenbelt station ($32 a month) then I will definitely consider it, otherwise I'm going to have to think about it.

As for another gripe, Pepco has pissed me off because of the final bill I received for the old apartment. August ended up being a higher bill than July's, and it was an estimated reading. I call bullshit on it simply because unlike in July when I ran the A/c every day, I turned off the A/c for the last ten days of that bill, so in my mind, the usage and the rate should have been lower. I put in an E-mail disputing the bill, and currently the bill is under investigation. Supposedly I don't have to pay the disputed amount until their investigation is over, which takes 6-8 weeks. Still, I'm going to call next week and make sure that it's what their system says, because I don't need to be getting a nasty gram next month saying that I failed to pay that bill. I'm also setting aside the disputed amount in my savings so that even if they come back and say "pay it in full" then I will have the money all ready to go.

As for the new apartment, I have everything put away, the only thing left to do is put up my wall stuff, and that will get done this weekend. These walls are practically concrete, so I'm going to have to hammer things in, and considering that I normally get home at 7 PM, that's rather rude to be making that much noise at that time.

I don't know what my weekend is shaping up to be just yet, other than the self-defense class I was going to take has been deferred until December. So now my Saturday is free, I may be doing the bike shopping thing, but otherwise this could also just be a weekend to veg out. Tomorrow night is Other Friday dinner, I'm sure the talk will be about how the restaurant we usually go to is likely to close down within the next few weeks or so. I guess it's time to find a new place to meet.